Exciting happenings here at work—although the word "exciting" is misleading because it often implies something positive.
I was attending to the happy business of relieving a client’s file of non-necessities, due his recent obtaining of a patent, when one of the other secretaries asked if I got the "spooky e-mail". I replied that I had not, but was understandably intrigued and promptly opened said e-mail. I was met with an unpleasant surprise when I discovered that an attorney was apprising us of a situation where he met with someone this morning, and the person turned out to be Not of Stable Mind. This guy apparently was full of delusions, including his belief that he was owed money by Paris Hilton and The Mafia, and set warning bells off with his general threat to "pull a Matrix", which he clarified as gunning down his enemies. Also disturbing was the fact that the guy believed he had a meeting with a certain famous pro-wrestling chairman scheduled in our office at 1:00 today.
Afflicted as I was at that moment with my caffeine-induced jangling nerves and already vivid imagination when it comes to such things (not to mention the vivid imaginations of the other secretaries encouraging mine), this information was not well received. Not helping much was the mixture of caffeine and copious amounts of water requiring a trip outside the office into suddenly-unknown and possibly-containing-crazy-person space. I was standing, perplexed and motionless, next to the door going out of our office and into the hallway (and not far beyond, the land of the bathroom) when the receptionist asked if I would accompany her to the second floor to see if we could discreetly spot Mr. Not Stable. We bravely scoped out the area and, upon not finding him, returned to the office feeling a bit more secure.
No worries: we had a quick staff meeting in the conference room and were informed that building security would be turning our elevators on lockdown (where you have to enter a code in the elevator to even get on our floor) and keeping an eye out for this fellow. Things are pretty much back to business as usual, but then again, it’s nearly 1:00…